As we get closer and closer to the due date, and my belly gets bigger and bigger, it seems like I can’t go anywhere without others taking note of Isaiah’s impending arrival. This is probably the hardest thing I encounter on a daily basis.
It seems as though no one ever assumes that pregnancy could possibly be anything but a happy, joyous occasion. Apparently, walking around pregnant is like walking around with a sign on my belly that says “Please talk to me and ask me all of the personal questions you can think of.”
Don’t get me wrong, I could go on and on about the joy that Isaiah brings me. But it is not the same kind of joy that strangers are accustomed to hearing or seeing. It is just hard to talk about his diagnosis and life with someone that we just meet, especially when it is the last thing they are expecting.
Take the other week for example. I ran into a stranger that was in a very chatty mood. She wanted to go on and on with questions about my baby. When am I due, is it a boy or girl, do we have a name picked out, are we excited for his arrival, is the nursery all ready, did we have a baby shower, etc. Normally when talking to someone I don’t know, I just answer their questions and state my due date, yes it is a boy, yes we picked Isaiah, and yes, we are ready for his arrival.
But this time, I felt like I could explain a little more. I explained that our little boy is due in September and that he has a diagnosis of HPE. I explained what this meant and that we didn’t know how much time we would get to spend with him, but that we would cherish every second we get. I quickly learned that it is not fun to bring tears to the eyes of a stranger.
I love talking about Isaiah and hoping for the best future he could possibly have. For anyone who wants to talk about him and to listen, I am happier than ever to share my experiences and sometimes a few tears. But I did learn that it is best not to share all of the details with those I just meet.